Peace & Solitude - Be You

·       

           Write in your journal under a  grand maple tree overlooking the beautiful Hudson river and mountains that have caught on fire with mother earths paint brush of autumn. Jot down all that inspires you , all that you mean to accomplish in this lifetime, all of your beliefs and aspirations. Pour onto its pages your emotions, what makes you tick, what causes an emotional hiccup, pour out your passions…..your journal is the life line of your heart, the written essence who you are. Your journal will keep your secrets, she will support you through each season of your life.  If you wish, keep this journal as a memoir for your children so that they can learn or hear your voice long past. Keep this journal to look back on yourself for wisdom or to simply relive an experience. A lot of times I catch myself taking photos or writing creatively on social media, but it is lost to the world, to never be seen or read again.

·         Square away some time to enjoy the peace and solitude of silence. Enjoy the simple beauties of life. Whether you decide to sit outdoors or indoors, find the beauty of what surrounds you. Light some candles, enjoy their warm glow. Wrap yourself in an amazingly soft plush blanket. Notice the texture against your skin. Feel the crisp breeze against your skin, take a deep breathe. Listen to the sounds that create the world around you. Notice how the light plays, how the tree’s speak, how the earth seems to sigh in unison with each deep breath you take. Try your best to keep your mind free and open, you never know what floating orb of creativeness might be trying to capture your attention. It is good to take some time to yourself to reflect and listen to what your body needs. I rarely give myself a moment to be present with no one but myself. But it’s a good goal to set for myself.

·         Find a hobby that makes your soul shimmer with passion and great happiness. Keep this hobby just as it is, a hobby. Do not try to mold it into a piece of work or start attaching dollar signs to it. Just create with your mind, allow your entire self to become consumed with whatever it is that it wants to be consumed with. Don’t allow it’s silky threads to fall from your grasp. Feast your mind on the idea or thought that you may have caught and continue to expand it, like a ball of glowing energy that you have caught between your palms, continue to feed it energy, allowing it to grow with a pulsing life of its own.

·         Find a book that inspires you. One that relates to your current journey or path. Sometimes we can feel alone with our thoughts even though we know others have surely struggled with the same ideas or thoughts, we can feel alienated.  People throughout history have walked the same path, no doubt. We are simply repeating history and living it out in our own song and dance.  A book that has helped me shake the feeling of self-doubt is “BIG MAGIC – Creative Living Beyond Fear” written by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am definitely a creative soul and at times I can be tough on myself. I was nearly ready to give up writing because I simply didn’t feel I was good enough and even questioned myself as to what I was doing. Who did I think I was trying to be a writer? I have never gone to school for journalism! After reading Gilbert’s book I was comforted to know that she too had the very same fears. Her book has inspired me to continue writing my stories. I fell into this habit of feeling like my stories had to be written to entertain others or that I had to strictly write on topics that would serve others. But that was a trap I conjured up myself. If you are creator (through writing, sewing, forming pottery…..whatever the creation might be) do it for YOU, no one else. What you do will in turn inspire others. Passion is what drives your work to become an inspiration. Without that flame, your candle would never glow and warm others. 
   
      Light & Love
         Carla

My Journey

Yesterday I had some energy work done. The result, a renewed spirit full of light and love. A definite weight has been lifted, thank the Universe. I feel like a new person. I am so deeply  thankful for those that have been with me and that have helped me throughout this journey.  A rock has been turned, I can feel the warmth of the sun, the cool whisper of a breeze……although there is still plenty of soul work to be done, I am at last feeling. If you have ever felt like your vibrancy, the feelings of emotions, your vitality had evaporated into thin air, as though it was stolen from you and you felt at a loss as to where to begin to look, a feeling of extreme exhaustion and helplessness, then you know how I have been feeling these past few months. I wasn’t sure how to dig myself out of this deep depression. I refused to call a doctor and be prescribed “uppers”. I knew that something was terribly wrong, like something had broken. And not only was it affecting me, but those I loved.

The journey that started last summer, this path of discovering who I am, taking care of myself, loving the child I am of the universe had led me to a holistic approach as to how to nix this state of darkness. My intuition told me that I was experiencing something outside of my control. I didn’t need a Band-Aid to help. I knew that somewhere deep within, these negative emotions were becoming stronger and were taking over my life, it was as if there was a dam that had been broken and it was threatening to take over my entire being with its inky deep void. These negative characteristics (jealousy, extreme anger, sadness, exhaustion, defeat, fear) went against the grain of who I am naturally. I missed my energetic self; the person that was typically always laughing, loving life, loving those around her. I had become a monster and I needed to stop it dead in its tracks. With help. So I went to an energy healer not really knowing what to expect or what would take place. I did not expect to dive into my past, pull out skeletons, revisit those feelings and become a blubbering mess. But I did and it wasn’t very pretty. The healer started working with these energies, taking what was bad, healing my spirit slowly and deeply. Towards the end of our session, I swear I heard birds singing so clear and beautifully, instruments being played in the distance and I felt so at peace I heard myself stating that I never wanted to leave.

Once I did leave, I left lighter. As though something had been physically removed. I feel awakened, less burdened, I can hear the birds, feel the sun, see my friends in a different light. A dark veil had been lifted. I get emotional talking or thinking  about it because I was in such a dark place when I had sat on that table and I feel such love and happiness now, such gratefulness for the universe placing Cleo (the healer) into my life. I am now back on that path, but with a much clearer state of mind and focus. I am working on becoming that spirit I always wanted and was meant to physically be. Enjoying this journey, living in the now, working on a better me. One that can offer back to the universe what it has given me. I, as always, hope to inspire you to fall into loving yourself, taking care of you and allowing yourself to rely on the universe for help. Always follow your intuition. Your body knows when things are off. Just listen to it. To  become who we are meant to be means that we need to be healed, let go of what has been holding us back, shed the  negativity. I want to become a beacon of light and love for not only myself or my loved ones, but for the entire universe. Those are my goals. I want to live in love, feel love, be in love for all that exists. I am looking forward to unraveling my shell and discovering the core of who I am. I haven’t quit met her yet. But I bet she is beautiful, just as you are.

Much love,
Carla